The Hot Stove on the New Life Flying Luthereens
#1 Ben Liu (compare to: Roberto Luongo) Like Luongo, has his hot and cold streaks. Unlike Luongo, will actually accept the blame for a bad goal
#30 Kevin Hsieh (Craig Anderson) Will never, ever give up on a shot, not until the puck has crossed the goal line. And even then, will quickly grab the puck and throw it out of the net
#35 Grand Yeh (Marc-Andre Fleury) Quick goalie with an imposing presence. Plus, scares opposing forwards out of their jock-straps with his yelling
#4 Carson McCrum (Niklas Lidstrom) Game breaker! One-on-one, forget it, he’ll destroy you. Two-on-one, he’ll steal the puck from you, then lead an odd-man rush going the other way
#5 Inhee Cho (Maxime Talbot) Relentless on the forecheck, creating havoc and bunches of turnovers. Every shift of her’s is a momentum boost for the good guys
#7 Dave Jung (Maxim Afinogenov) Super soft hands and unreal hockey sense. But like Afinogenov, skating effort reveals their actual desires: Dave, to take a nap; Maxim, for American cheeseburger
#11 Phil Ma (Eric Daze) A maelstrom in front of the opponent’s net. His shot will also leave you Daze-d
#13 Fynn Wu (Jason Spezza) Complete set of offensive tools, but the defensive zone may as well be Afghanistan for him
#14 Alicia Lui (Mike Ribeiro) Skilled and speedy. Also untouchable with the puck, as she possesses the uncanny ability to attract the ref’s attention just as an opponent is about to use their sticks to impede her forward motion
#16 Jonathan Tung (Mike Green) Excellent at quarterbacking the attack. Only needs to figure out which side of the blue line his skates should be on before receiving the puck
#17 Kent Ho (Dion Phaneuf) Destroys opposing forwards in the defensive zone. Then, when the ref isn’t looking, he might even do something dirty
#17 Joel Voo (Ilya Kovalchuk) Shifty moves impress and confuse…when he feels like using them
#18 Larksun Voo (Mattias Ohlund) Rock solid defensively. On offense, his shot seems to be magically attracted to either the goal post or the goalie’s chest protector
#19 Jason Chu (Al Iafrate) Good offensive sense and wicked shot. Now if only everyone else would stand still while he lets it go
#22 Tyson Wong (Trevor Linden) The heart of the team. Impossible to knock off the puck once he’s in stride. Scores a ton of timely goals with his accurate and under-rated shot
#25 Duncan Kok (Sergei Gonchar) Why make a good outlet pass when it’s more fun to embarrass the opponent’s forechecker by deking him out of his shorts?
#26 Samuel Voo (Cliff Ronning) Energetic forward is everywhere in the attacking zone. Would have a ton of assists if he played with wingers who convert his passes
#31 Danny Kwok (Kris Draper) Never afraid to go into the boards to retrieve the puck. Always seems to be in the right place at the right time to score unlikely goals
#69 Keian Kok (Matt Cooke) Plays like a tough guy, always looking to lay someone out. But when the guy has his head up and is looking, then will pretend he’s playing actual hockey
#73 Barney Hong (Brian Leetch) Best at the breakout. While skating, able to saucer pass onto the tape, forehand and backhand
#88 Joe Liu (Dave Andreychuk) “Skill” and “speed” declining drastically with age. Only wants to win the championship before he hits 40
#89 Watson Liu (Pat Falloon) What happened to this guy? Where’s the love???