CONTEST: church sign ideas

[nature boy]

ok, it's not really a contest.
somehow i've been given the duty of coming up with stuff to put on our sign out front. and i freaking suck at thinking of stuff to put up.
what i've been doing so far is have one catchy thing on the north sign (so southbound traffic will see it on their side of the street) and then a generic "welcome" thing on the south side (northbound traffic is probably unlikely to look our way anyway).

so far on the welcome side, i've had:
"all are welcome"
"all are welcome...seriously"
"it's not humanly possible to be more welcome"
current: "all are welcome. srsly kthnxbai" (might not keep this one for long)

on the other side i've had:
"Jesus loves everyone, even our pastor"
"if you're close enough to see this, you're close enough to come in" (i had to abbreviate this one, we only have two limited lines of space)
"can't stop sinning? neither can we"

some others i thought of (but got nixed) are:
"if you think this sign is lame, you should meet our pastor"
"signs like these are really dated, but the gospel isn't"
"come hear our pastor. he's not very good but his sermons are short"
"school zone ahead, slow down. church right here, come in"
"if our pastor were alone in the church, would he still preach a sermon?"
"we spent a lot of time on this sign and this is all we came up with"
"this sign sucks. come in and give us new ideas"
and one i'm saving for lent: "God will never give you up. God will never let you down." (on the other side) "God will never turn around, and desert you"

I NEED NEW IDEAS. MY IDEAS SUCK. WHOEVER COMES UP WITH A HALF DECENT THING TO PUT ON THE SIGN I PROMISE I'LL PUT IT UP.
this is your chance to see your work in flashing lights. actually, more like steady low-wattage florescent, but you get the idea.

[[JT]]

"FAT + UGLY CHICKS STOP HERE, THE REST PROCEED 3 BLOCKS SOUTH-WEST"

[Wetundies]

Jesus loves us, yes, even if your ugly.

[nature boy]

COME UP WITH BETTER SIGNZ YOU NERDZ.



hey, i should use that.

[se7entse7en]

I figured you had input on what the sign said.

[Wetundies]

Jesus loves us, including our ugly pastor.

[se7entse7en]

High stakes Texas Holdem tourney follows each service.

[Duncan]

[nature boy]

haha, the high stakes tourney and how's my driving are pretty good ones.

i seriously can't wait until lent so i can use my lent one.

[jeSteR]

[geForce]

Free hair wash with baptism

Christians: we're not perfect, just look at our pastor

Most comfortable hard wooden pews in South Burnaby

[nature boy]

lol, those are pretty good. i should write these down.

[nature boy]

oh and thanks and keep them coming.

[jeSteR]

[geForce]

Girls! Girls! Girls!

I'll pay you $100 if you can get away with putting that up on your sign for 1 week haha