The Chu Forums

What is the etiquette for funerals in regards to giving money?

I think I see some people giving money at funerals, but not sure how it works. Is it family only that usually gives? Friends too? How much is usually given?

i usually just give flowers. and maybe $50 if i'm going to the reception. if i'm just going to the service, flowers and a card are enough. if you're not close, just a card is enough.

never knew you give money at a funeral..

just if you're going to the reception. someone has to pay for all that food.

oh, i see. i had never heard of giving money at a funeral before, but i guess that makes sense. actually, now that i think about it i seem to recall my aunt having a conversation with someone about how a reception after a funeral is like kicking a family when they're already down. in the olden days, it was a nice gesture because it took everybody such a long time to travel anywhere. it was the least you could do to give them a meal after traveling for 3 days through 6 feet of snow.

by remembering that conversation i have come to the following conclusions:
1) banquets after funerals should be done away with
2) paying to go to a funeral might be a cultural thing, 'cause it doesn't sound like it was ever done in my culture.

i don't think it's like paying to go to a funeral. it's like being invited to someone's house for dinner. you bring a bottle of wine. you're not paying them to eat at their house, but you're giving them something in appreciation for the invitation.

the same is with a funeral. you're showing appreciation for this celebration of life that they put on.

yeah, i understand... i just don't think that is (or ever was) part of the doukhobor culture.

What cultures do this?

asians. it's always about giving money gifts.