The Chu Forums

Do you ever have times where you ask alot of questions about yourself? Try to figure yourself out? What you do thats normal? What you do thats odd? What you do thats bad? What you do thats good? How to be happy? How you should live your life? Questioning your own insecurities..etc..........?

Basically how you should live your life, how to improve yourself and whats your philosophy on how to live life? (besides the whole church stuff)

Do you guys work on this ongoing or is it deal with it all at once then forget about it for the next few years.

I find myself doing it once every few years. It kinda sucks. I get to the point that where I get an eurika then stop thinking about it and it goes away for a while.

yup. for me it's tied pretty closely with the "whole church" stuff though.

i try to change a lot about myself all the time, and most times i fail miserably. but i've learned that I don't have the power to magically change myself. normally this would just be depressing, but i have been trying to put more trust and faith that God can change me. And that's given me hope about it. And in some areas, I recognize where he has already.

maybe that sounds a little too "churchy" but that's how i feel about it anyway.

I think recognizing you want change is a pretty important step. I think it also helps to get support too. We can't expect to do everything by our own strength. Support gives us someone that can keep us accountable and help encourage and remind us. "Reinvention" isn't as simple as it sounds.

i do that constantly. ever since i think i was in grade 7 and i realised that i didn't like some traits that my brother had that i recognised in myself. so constantly i've been looking at myself and seeing how i could be a better person.

of course, many of you may think that sounds like 20+ years of uber fail, but i'd hate to think how much of a loser i'd be if i didn't spend those years trying. all in all, i've always been an advocate of self-reflection and improvement.

in school, we learned that one of the more effective ways is to look at people you don't like. see what it is in them that you don't like, and then wonder why you didn't see it in yourself to begin with. the fact of the matter is, the reason you don't like people is because they remind you of the things you don't like about yourself. so either you befriend those people you don't like, or work on yourself so you're no longer like that. and that's how you gain true confidence in the real you rather than the perceived you.

Ever since I became a father, everyday I've been totally re-examining who I am and how I've been shaped.

Also, just recently, getting a better idea of what it means to find my identity in God in a more concrete way.

For me, I've been able to recognize in myself all the things in my past that have given me the traits, good or bad, that I have. Like when I was bullied in school, I've recognized that experience made me more compassionate towards people who are being picked on, but also at the same time it's made me very self-conscious and I always try to keep a low profile to avoid attention because attention attracts bullies. It was tough for me not to attract attention though because I've always been bigger than most people.

I've always wanted to reinvent myself, but for me it's tough. I've succeeded in some ways, but failed in others. The small stuff is easy, like trying new things or making new friends. It's the more engrained stuff in my life that's the hardest to change, like my self-consciousness.

Get a costume that u can wear at night and go fight bad guys.

but you say it all the time.

yea, you don't have to affirm anything because you've already said it lol

lol ok. hey, if my brother ever signs up for the forums, DON'T LET HIM (mostly cause he's a loser lol).

anyway, another thing that i find myself doing is every time winnie and i get into a fight (or anyone and me for that matter), i reflect on it and see how i could have handled myself differently or how i could have reacted differently. usually in our eyes the other person is totally wrong, so it's hard to look at ourselves and think how we're actually the ones that are wrong.

we're the hero in our story of life and the hero is always right. unfortunately that's not always the case in reality. we can't change anyone else but ourselves (so my brother will remain my brother haha...)

For me it tends to be every so often I'll have a eureka like the time when I hated everything about myself. I asked myself what I hated most. The answer: I'm a wimp. The solution: Go to fitness depot, get a bench and some weights and start working out from home. The outcome: Gained 10-15 lbs of mostly muscle in a couple of years... then lost much of it a number of years later. Overall though: success. I don't hate myself 'cause I'm a wimp 'cause I now know I can do something about it.

Then there was the time when I started going to NL. I didn't want to be that shy/quiet guy that I've been all my life. I tried to be socialable and outgoing but after a few months... back to my old self. Fail.

Then there was the whole job thing... but I don't want to get into that.

So yeah, I reflect a lot. I bitch and complain a lot, but don't do anything about it until it kinda reaches a breaking point.